why...?

I know that this is a question that my kids ask me all of the time about various things, but there are things I wish they could answer for me:

• Why, Taylie, do you think that 'Fruit Loops' is an acceptable substitute for actual fruit? You actually like most fruit and someday s it is the only thing I can get you to eat. So when given the option, why would you think you can pick cereal?
• Why, Lucas, do you think it is funny to poke my tummy with a fork and yell at your baby brother in hopes that you wake him up, then after he wakes up and has begun kicking my bladder, you run away?
• Why, Taylie and Lucas, do you refuse to respond to my requests unless I address you as Professor Lupin (a character from the Harry Potter movies)? You should really give me a heads up when you choose to change to a new persona, it is hard to keep track because your Professor Lupin-werewolf, tiger, dog, alligator, and even kitty cat and pig all behave in a similar manner.
  
• Why, Taylie, do you always ask me to do things right as I tuck you into bed that could have easily been accomplished 45 minutes earlier?
  
• Why, Taylie and Lucas, do I have a sock gravyard in my laundry room? Speaking of laundry: why, Taylie, do I manage to find your underpants everywhere?! I mean, in my bed, in the trash, in the toy box, the silverware drawer, in a pair of boots...really?
  
• Why, Lucas, do you really think that if you tell me to close my eyes and keep them closed that I will not come and check on what you are doing? Your sister already pulled that one over me...
• Why, Lucas, did you choose to dunk my washcloth in the potty and then proceed to clean the tub and the floor with it? Thanks for trying to help and I appreciate your initative, but you see what goes in the potty, why stick your hands in there? You are a huge germaphobe!
  
• Why, Lucas, do you have a need to use a banana as a phone? Not that I mind, it is super cute, I am just curious why the banana as opposed to the 318387 play phones that we have around?
• Why, Taylie, when you have something cool to show me it is always when I am driving? Everytime you ask me to turn around, and everytime I give you the same answer: "Mom is driving, you need to wait until the car stops." and you then respond with "whadabout now?... whadabout now?... whadabout now?... whadabout now?..." It really makes mommy want to bang her head on the dashboard when she does turn around and see the ginormous spit bubble that popped all over you.

(Here are 2 from your Dad...)

• Why, Lucas, do you blame your farts on everybody else but yourself? We know it is you, the giggling gives you away.
• Why, Lucas, do you try to 'shoot' everybody with anything that slightly resembles a gun? Examples being: Mommy's blowdryer, remote controls, sippy cups, etc.

and finally...

• Why Why Why, Taylie, do you feel the need to announce (while in a crowed public place) that you are "SO Pissed off!" because I wouldn't let you take your shoes off and walk around the dirty store in your bare feet? Yes, it makes people giggle (Sister Missionaries included) but it makes mommy look oh-so-bad and you know you shouldn't say that word.
  

I think that is all...for now.