outsmarted

You know, I am glad that my kid has brains. I just wish that she wouldn't use them against me:

All I said was: "Get your clothes off of my floor, please! I am not your maid."

So she did.

Tee shirt, shorts and ballet shoes all hung neatly on my lamp.

Body Art

I know that this doesn't compare to the epic masterpieces that Taylie has created on herself, but for a kid who hates to get messy and is a germaphobe, it was a pretty big deal that he willingly got messy.

But...true to form, about 5 minutes later he was demanding a shower to get all of the "ewwies" off of him. He didn't believe me when I told him that I had scrubbed off all I could. He grabbed the loofa and proceeded to scrub himself until he got tired. Then he believed me. He was sad at first and was afraid it would be permanent, but I told him that it would take a few days of showering and it would all come off. Then he was okay.

The saddest part: I was standing not 4 feet away from him cooking dinner when he did it. All I did was turn to stir the rice and...TA-DA!!!

Easter 2011

Holiday's usually rock around here. This one was no different. :)

Our Easter festivities started on Saturday, that is when the Easter Bunny comes around here. We try to spend Sunday focusing on church and Jesus, so the Bunny obliges our request and comes a day early.

In all of my pregnancy awesomeness, I forgot to get pictures of the Saturday morning discovery of the baskets. Another part of it may have been that Taylie was up at 3am just to make sure that he came, and she woke us up to tell us that he didn't forget to come. So when both of them were up and the crack of dawn and all excited about their baskets, we were quite groggy. It was super fun though to play with bubbles and they got to take their new coloring books and crayons to church in Grandpa and Grandma Schlenker's ward. I also let them indulge in some marshmallow peeps to go with breakfast.

After church with Grandma and Grandpa, we went to their house for a super yummy lunch and the yearly Easter Egg Hunt in the backyard. Luke did much better this year and Taylie was good about helping him rather then stealing from him. :)

My 2 favorite peeps!

I had to put this picture in because it was taken right in the middle of saying "Cheese Farts!"
I can't stop them from saying it no matter what, so we just kind of roll with it.
:)

the best part of my day.....

Every night, the kids and I read a story out of the picture book version of the Book of Mormon. They simplify the stories but still cover all of the important stuff. Tonight when Taylie brought me the book so we could read, our conversation went like this:

Taylie: "What is the name of our story tonight?"
Me: "It is called 'Alma and his people escape.'"
Taylie: "Oh. 'Alma and the pizza he ate.' Let's read!"

I was pretty much rolling around with the giggles...it didn't set a very spiritual tone.

Then after we were done, Luke wanted a turn to "read". He grabbed the book and turned to the part with Nephi and his ship. He was instantly convinced that it was a ship that belonged to pirates. The following conversation happened between him and Taylie:

Luke: "Pirates! Argh, Matey!"
Taylie: "That's Nephi's boat."
Luke: "No, Pirate Ship."
Taylie: "These are Nephi's brother's, Lamen and Lemon, and they are mean!"

They then continued to tell stories about the mean pirates on Nephi's ship named Lamen and Lemon. :)

Nothing beats ending the day with everyone giggling! :)

Things I never thought I would say...

• "Never color on your butt without Mom's permission, okay?"

(yeah, I actually said this to my kids today. Granted, I was the one who initiated the problem.)

(Wait, let me just say that it did not start by me coloring on my bum!)

Kidisms

Me: "Taylie, please put your brother's water bottle back."
Taylie: "This is his?"
Me: "Yes. Please do as I have asked."
Taylie: eye roll followed by gigantic sigh "Well, I don't see his name on it."

walks away and leaves me with my mouth hanging open

at church, every 5 minutes,
beginning 10 minutes after arriving:

Luke: "Me go to primary?"
Me: "Not yet. We just got here."
Luke: "Me go to primary now?"
Me: "No, we still have 45 minutes."
42 minutes later
Luke: "Me go to primary, NOW?!"
Me: "Almost. We just have to sing a song and say a prayer."
Luke: "I pray NOW!"
mumbles under his breath for a minute
Luke: "THE END!" (that is the way he says Amen.)

The elderly commence giggling

MommyLand

This little girl has got me thinkin'...

about the aspect of my life that I think of as MommyLand.

It really hit me tonight when I heard her say our night-time prayers all by herself, with no help from me at all. I was about ready to cry.
Sometimes, being a mommy totally overwhelms me. Like, really overwhelms me! Like, after I spend all day doing laundry and once everybody strips down to get into jammies for the night, I find a trail of clothes down the hallway that ends up with underpants hanging halfway out of the potty. Or when I spend a great deal of time to make a really nice dinner (which doesn't happen too terribly often because I hate cooking) and as soon as it hits the table I get the chorus of "Ewwwww! I do NOT like THAT. Can I have some peanut butter on a spoon?"

It makes me want to bang my head against the wall.

But....
I love these crazy monkeys so much, I could never imagine life without them. There was some study that was done that talks about parents who hate parenting and how they are so unhappy.

I was feeling like this after reading it:

Confused.

A friend of mine articulated it so perfectly in a blog post that she wrote and she was nice enough to let me borrow her wonderfully formed thoughts to explain myself here.

Granted, being a parent isn't easy. It's far from it. It involves crying, screaming, dirty diapers, spit-up, late nights, early mornings, disrespect, tantrums, messy houses, extra laundry, scratching, biting and throwing food (and that's all before they reach age one). It's a huge commitment. Once you're a parent, there's no looking back. Your schedule will probably never be what you want it to. You can't just pick up and go out any time you want to. You can't take an impromptu vacation, go to the movies or to dinner easily, or stay out all night at a concert. You'll probably to get dirty, say things you never imagined you would ever have to say (such as "Please, don't lick that!"), dance and sing along with The Wiggles, and miss a lot of events that you'd like to attend. You might gain a little weight, have less time to exercise, eat a little too much mac 'n cheese, and find fruit snacks stuck to your skirt at the least opportune moments. You might never get a full night's sleep again, you might never get a long, lazy summer afternoon to yourself, and you might never have the house quite as clean as you'd like it to be for more than five minutes.

But that doesn't mean you can't and won't be happy.

I'm keenly aware of every little thing that I gave up to be a parent. I gave up a career. I gave up money. I gave up freedom to go where I wanted to, when I wanted to. I gave up hobbies. I gave up time with friends, family, and my husband. I gave up control; control of my schedule, control of my sleep, control of how clean my house always is, control of how I look at every minute of the day.

But you know what? I don't regret it. Because what I got in return was so much more than I ever gave up. I got my 2 best buddies. I got the sweetest little kids who makes me laugh and make me smile every single day. I got 2 little Indoor-Homeless-People who need me, who look up to me, who think I'm hilarious, who kiss me when I cry and cuddle with me when I'm feeling down. I know it won't always be that way. I know that they'll grow up and they'll change and there will be times that they won't want to be around me, that he'll roll his eyes at me, that she'll tell me she hates me. But regardless of that, they are still mine--always will be. They've taught me what it means to open my heart, to give of myself, to be selfless instead of selfish, and to want nothing more than for them to be happy. Being a mother has brought me fulfillment, accomplishment, peace, and satisfaction like I've never felt before and that you just can't find anywhere else. I've learned so much, I have discovered who I am and how much I'm capable of. I've learned to love, to have compassion, and how to serve in new ways.

Sure, I have my down days, there are days when I'm overwhelmed (see above) and wish I could have a break; but I wouldn't change a thing. I love being a mom!

the side-effects of pregnancy

This pretty much sums up what happens to my memory and any logical thinking/rational process that most people use to function effectively on a daily basis:

Here are a few of the things that have slipped through the cracks since October. Actually, all of these have happened in the past 3-4 months.

• Got a speeding ticket because I forgot that I was still in American Fork city (by about 2 blocks) and not Pleasant Grove.
• Forgot about said ticket until I got around the cleaning out all of the stale Goldfish crackers out of the family vehicle from the vacation we took in OCTOBER. The fine went up $50.
  
• Forgot about said ticket, again, until I got a suspension notice from the DMV. This time I called the court to find out that my fine went up $100 and I have a warrant that has been issued for me.
  
• Forgot to buy diapers until we were down to 1, sometimes 0.
  
• Realized once I got to school that I had put my toothbrush in my pocket. In my defense, at least I remembered to brush them.
• Lets not even get into the 571482193 times I have lost/misplaced my cell phone which is not helped by the fact that I have it on silent 90% of the time.
• It wasn't until everybody in my house was out of clean underpants that I realized I hadn't done laundry for a week and a half.
• I somehow managed to turn off the voicemail notification on my phone and so I never know when I have messages. Last time I was able to check them, I had 53.
• Had an overdue library book. By 2 1/2 months. My fine was $9.00. I didn't even get to finish the book.
  
• I don't want to even give the specifics of all of the scheduling screw-ups I have made with school this semester. Lets just say, that in the last 2 weeks, I have thoroughly ruined my entire semester worth of work.
• I found 7 months worth of "task cards" for Taylie's preschool that I never sent back. They were completed, I just filed them instead of sticking them in her backpack. Thank goodness her teachers totally get pregnancy brain and they sent her home with all 7 prizes in the same day.
  
• Totally forgot to send in the renewal for our health insurance. Twice.
  

This is not even the entire list of all of my crazy moments.

So, I guess I should say, if I have done/do anything to offend/forget/misplace anything that correlates to you in any way, well, you are running along the same lines as the rest of my life.
Sorry, there is no fixing this brain. I would say 'until at least July', but I know better. Having a baby attached to me every 2 hours for months on end just makes for a new kind of crazy.

But I still love you all. Promise :)

why...?

I know that this is a question that my kids ask me all of the time about various things, but there are things I wish they could answer for me:

• Why, Taylie, do you think that 'Fruit Loops' is an acceptable substitute for actual fruit? You actually like most fruit and someday s it is the only thing I can get you to eat. So when given the option, why would you think you can pick cereal?
• Why, Lucas, do you think it is funny to poke my tummy with a fork and yell at your baby brother in hopes that you wake him up, then after he wakes up and has begun kicking my bladder, you run away?
• Why, Taylie and Lucas, do you refuse to respond to my requests unless I address you as Professor Lupin (a character from the Harry Potter movies)? You should really give me a heads up when you choose to change to a new persona, it is hard to keep track because your Professor Lupin-werewolf, tiger, dog, alligator, and even kitty cat and pig all behave in a similar manner.
  
• Why, Taylie, do you always ask me to do things right as I tuck you into bed that could have easily been accomplished 45 minutes earlier?
  
• Why, Taylie and Lucas, do I have a sock gravyard in my laundry room? Speaking of laundry: why, Taylie, do I manage to find your underpants everywhere?! I mean, in my bed, in the trash, in the toy box, the silverware drawer, in a pair of boots...really?
  
• Why, Lucas, do you really think that if you tell me to close my eyes and keep them closed that I will not come and check on what you are doing? Your sister already pulled that one over me...
• Why, Lucas, did you choose to dunk my washcloth in the potty and then proceed to clean the tub and the floor with it? Thanks for trying to help and I appreciate your initative, but you see what goes in the potty, why stick your hands in there? You are a huge germaphobe!
  
• Why, Lucas, do you have a need to use a banana as a phone? Not that I mind, it is super cute, I am just curious why the banana as opposed to the 318387 play phones that we have around?
• Why, Taylie, when you have something cool to show me it is always when I am driving? Everytime you ask me to turn around, and everytime I give you the same answer: "Mom is driving, you need to wait until the car stops." and you then respond with "whadabout now?... whadabout now?... whadabout now?... whadabout now?..." It really makes mommy want to bang her head on the dashboard when she does turn around and see the ginormous spit bubble that popped all over you.

(Here are 2 from your Dad...)

• Why, Lucas, do you blame your farts on everybody else but yourself? We know it is you, the giggling gives you away.
• Why, Lucas, do you try to 'shoot' everybody with anything that slightly resembles a gun? Examples being: Mommy's blowdryer, remote controls, sippy cups, etc.

and finally...

• Why Why Why, Taylie, do you feel the need to announce (while in a crowed public place) that you are "SO Pissed off!" because I wouldn't let you take your shoes off and walk around the dirty store in your bare feet? Yes, it makes people giggle (Sister Missionaries included) but it makes mommy look oh-so-bad and you know you shouldn't say that word.
  

I think that is all...for now.

"Cheese Farts!"

I had taken this picture for 2 reasons:
1)It is St. Patrick's Day and any holiday is always a good photo opportunity
2)I had to show how my little girl dressed herself for school this morning!
...now it will forever be the memory of the "cheese fart".

(this has to be one of my new favorite pictures of my babies!)

Anyway, this year we have been exposed to all kinds of fun things now that Taylie is in preschool and today they were having a party for the holiday. So we all dressed in green to be supportive, because if you remember, Taylie HATES green! :)
The best part of my day came when we got home and I asked if I could take a picture of them because they looked so cute. I pulled out the camera, they posed and I counted to three:

Me: "1...2...3...smile!"
Taylie: "Cheeeeeeese Farts!"

I couldn't breathe I was laughing so hard!
I have made some calls to the family she hangs out with most frequently, and everybody claims it wasn't them who taught her.

I kind of don't mind. It is just too funny. :)